Everyone Needs to Calm Down About Everything

And that’s not a blanket statement. That’s pretty much true.

Awhile ago, there was a meme floating around social media that was a stock photo of someone shouting (or something, I don’t remember exactly what it was) with the white, blocky, meme-esque letters that read, “Good morning, America! What are we offended by today?”

When I first saw that, I almost threw something because that was so accurate. It seems like very day someone is telling someone that something they did was offensive. Just today, I looked on my Facebook newsfeed (the most relevant of news sources, second only to MSNBC) to see that The Gap had recently apologized after a seemingly “racist” advertisement. I thought to myself, “What horrid, detrimental propaganda could The Gap have possibly coughed out this time?” When I looked at it, all I saw was an ad for kid’s clothes. I didn’t quite see anything inherently racist. It could be that I am an insensitive bigot and am blind to the race issues that plague America and clothing ads.

Or, maybe everyone needs to calm down a little bit. And by a little bit, I mean calm the eff down about everything.

Remember I told you that I’m never going to tell you what you should think? I’m not trying to tell you to not get riled up about things that you think are wrong. But when one man says something that might possibly offend a woman in some way, it doesn’t mean all men are evil misogynists. When one person, corporation, or advertisement says something that peeves you off just a little bit, you don’t have to demand a full-out apology. Sometimes it’s just better to turn the other cheek and focus on more important things in your life. (Seriously, who has time to flip through the Sunday ads and put a red circle around things that are offensive? Everything is offensive to someone. I can show you fifty examples just walking through Abercrombie and Fitch.)

All of that to say, sometimes people will offend you. Sometimes their opinions will offend you. You have to decide whether it’s worth getting worked up about, or if you should just forget about it and keep living the awesome life you’re living. Because guess what? Sometimes you will offend people. I offend people all the time. Do you want everyone you offend to pick a fight with you, express their outrage on social media, and demand a public apology from you?

So, dear everyone: Please just calm down. People say stupid things and do stupid stuff. Ad agencies put out weird ads that are occasionally stupid. But guess what? You wake up every morning, and you probably have a bed, food to eat, and a way to get yourself to work or school. That’s a lot to be thankful for, and not a lot to get offended by.

So why let something as small as a clothing advertisement make you go crazy? Why stop the presses and demand an apology, all over a brand of overly-priced clothes? If you want to live as a perpetually-peeved, tight-knit ball of angst and anxiety and be self-entitled to have everyone apologize to you, then you do you. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that some things aren’t worth your time. Like Gobstoppers. And the DMV. And somewhat offensive advertisements on the Internet.

And if you do find yourself outraged over something, definitely put it on Facebook. That’s what everyone wants to see. There’s nothing I like better than logging on to Facebook to see a tl;dr post of some news article about some hot button issue like whether manatees have feelings or not. Whatever people get excited about these days.

So, calm down. Take a bath. Eat an oreo. That’s what I do when I’m angry and it makes me feel better. Just keep living your awesome life.




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